Firing & Transition — Ending the Contract Correctly

Most placement issues that families think are firing-grade are actually coaching-grade. Distinguishing the two is the first decision.

Coach through it (do not end the contract):

• Small daily-routine misalignments — meal preparation differences, tidying preferences, screen-time enforcement variation. These are first-30-day calibrations and the communication & culture page covers how to address them.
• The candidate's English is weaker than you expected but functional. Add explicit Mandarin scripts for the most common situations and accept the role as it sits.
• One specific incident — a missed pickup, a cooking accident, a confused message — that does not represent a pattern. Address it once, specifically, and move on.
• The candidate is showing slow improvement on a previously-raised issue. Slow improvement is improvement.
• Personal-style differences that do not affect the children's wellbeing. The candidate is a person, not a clone of the family's preferences.

End the contract:

• Behavior toward the children that is not aligned with the family's discipline standards and has not changed after explicit, repeated conversation. This is non-negotiable.
• Repeated unauthorized absences, persistent lateness without medical or family-emergency cause, or unreliable attendance after the first 30 days.
• Confirmed theft, falsification of credentials, or material dishonesty about prior employment.
• Photography or social-media posting of the children without permission, after explicit conversation and explicit re-statement of the rule.
• The candidate has herself signalled that she wants to end — sometimes through indirect language, sometimes through reduced engagement. Read the signal and act on it.
• Serious incompatibility that has not resolved after 60 days despite good-faith effort on both sides.

Grey zone (talk to the agency or the family-side advisor first):

• One-off serious incident — a single boundary violation that has not been repeated, but that you cannot move past.
• The family's circumstances have changed (relocation, parental leave ending, child starting school) and the current role no longer fits, even though the candidate is doing the role well.
• A safety question that you are still investigating.

For the grey zone, escalate to the agency layer or request a consult before acting. A bad early termination produces consequences that a 20-minute conversation could have avoided.

Once the decision to end is made, the notice conversation matters as much as the legal-and-financial structure that follows.

Timing:

• Deliver the notice early in the week (Monday or Tuesday), not Friday afternoon. The candidate has the working week to begin her transition rather than going home over the weekend to absorb the news in isolation.
• Deliver it early in the day, not at the end. She is not asked to continue working immediately after receiving the news.
• Deliver it in private. Both parents present where possible. The agency representative present if the placement is agency-mediated.

Script structure:

• Open with the decision, clearly. Do not bury it in small talk. "I have something difficult to tell you. We have decided to end the contract."
• State the reason briefly, neutrally, and only once. "The fit hasn't worked the way we hoped" is usually enough. Detailed litigation of specific incidents at this point does not help.
• State the timeline. "Per the contract, this is 30 days' notice. Your last working day will be [date]. We will pay the severance as agreed."
• Acknowledge the relationship. "We're grateful for the work you did with [child's name]. This is not about you as a person; it's about what we need at this stage."
• Invite her response, but do not pressure for one. "Take some time. We can talk again tomorrow if it helps."
• End with the next concrete step. "We will write everything in a letter today so you have it in writing."

Things to avoid:

• Itemizing every specific complaint. The candidate experiences this as a list of grievances and reacts defensively.
• Comparing her to other candidates.
• Asking her to agree the decision is correct. It isn't her decision to validate; it's the family's decision to take responsibility for.
• Asking her to leave that day. The notice period is the contract; honor it. The exception is if there is a safety concern, in which case put her on paid leave for the notice period rather than asking her to keep working.
• Communicating the decision via WeChat or text. Always in person. WeChat follow-up confirming what was said is fine; WeChat as the first delivery channel is a major rupture.

Bilingual delivery:

For candidates whose English is functional but not fluent, deliver the news in Mandarin or with a bilingual agency representative present. Misunderstandings in the notice conversation are far more damaging than in routine daily communication. "I am ending the contract" must be understood as that, not as "I am unhappy with something specific."

Severance and final pay are the points where most civil-contract disputes start. Following the contract precisely is the easiest path; trying to short the candidate produces civil claims and reputational damage that vastly exceed the saving.

Standard severance structure (family-initiated termination without cause, after probation):

• 1 month of base salary per year of service, pro-rated for partial years.
• A placement ending at month 9 produces severance of 0.75 months of base — for a ¥ 13,000/month placement, that is ¥ 9,750.
• A placement ending at month 18 produces severance of 1.5 months — ¥ 19,500 for the same example.
• Some contracts use a flat 1 month of severance regardless of tenure. This is candidate-friendly and fine; check what your specific contract says.

Termination for cause (no severance):

• Specified causes — confirmed theft, gross negligence, repeated unauthorized absence, falsification of credentials — terminate without severance.
• The cause must be specified in the contract. Vague "misconduct" language is unenforceable.
• Even in for-cause terminations, all earned but unpaid amounts are still owed — pro-rated salary for days worked, accrued unused annual leave, the Spring Festival red envelope if the termination is between, say, January 1st and Spring Festival.

Candidate-initiated termination:

• The candidate gives notice per the contract (typically 14 days from candidate-side).
• No severance owed by the family.
• All earned but unpaid amounts still owed.
• The pro-rated annual bonus is sometimes forfeited per contract; check the specific clause.

Final-pay components:

• Pro-rated salary for days worked in the final month.
• Severance per contract clause.
• Accrued unused annual leave, paid out at the daily-equivalent rate.
• Spring Festival red envelope if termination is between, say, January 1st and Spring Festival — the candidate has earned the year-end portion already.
• Any unreimbursed expenses (training stipend used, commute reimbursement for the final month).
• Final paycheque delivered within 7 working days of last working day. Late final pay is the most common trigger for civil claims.

Worked example (standard, family-initiated, no cause):

• Base: ¥ 13,000/month. Tenure: 14 months. Final working day: October 15th.
• Pro-rated October salary (15 ÷ 30 × ¥ 13,000) = ¥ 6,500.
• Severance (14 ÷ 12 × ¥ 13,000) = ¥ 15,167.
• Accrued annual leave (4 days not used, daily equivalent ¥ 590) = ¥ 2,360.
• Pro-rated mid-year bonus (already paid in June) = ¥ 0.
• Pro-rated Spring Festival red envelope earned but not yet paid (10 months of 12 × ¥ 13,000) = ¥ 10,833. Sometimes paid; check contract.
• Total final-pay: ¥ 24,027 (or ¥ 34,860 if Spring Festival pro-rated portion is included).

If the contract is unclear on any of these, default to the candidate-favorable interpretation. The cost of generous final-pay is far lower than the cost of a disputed termination.

A reference is a meaningful gift the family gives the candidate at the end of the placement, and a meaningful service the family does for the next family that will hire her.

What you owe (almost always):

• A written reference letter, on letterhead or stationery, in Chinese (and English if the next placement might be expat). One or two paragraphs. Stating: dates of employment, role function, what she did well, signed by both parents.
• A verbal reference upon request from the next family or their agency. Be honest but balanced — what worked, what didn't, what the next family should know.

What you don't owe:

• A reference for a candidate terminated for cause involving dishonesty or harm. "I cannot provide a reference" is a complete and acceptable response.
• A reference that omits significant issues. If asked directly about a specific concern, you may decline to answer in writing but you should be honest in a verbal conversation.
• A reference that promises more than the placement delivered. If the candidate is a B+, the reference is a B+ reference, not an A.

Practical structure:

• Write the reference letter in the final week of the placement, before the last day. Hand it to her on the last day.
• Offer to be a verbal reference for 12–24 months. After that, the placement is too distant to give a useful signal.
• Provide your WeChat ID for the next agency or family to contact you. The verbal-reference call is 10–15 minutes and meaningful.
• For agency-mediated placements, the agency will collect a reference from you for their files. Cooperate fully — it is the agency's basis for placing her with the next family.

What goes in the reference letter:

• Dates of employment.
• Role (live-in / live-out, hours, primary function).
• The household context briefly (one paragraph: "a family of two adults and two children, ages X and Y, in [neighborhood]").
• What she did well — 2–4 specific things.
• Anything the next family should know that is operationally useful ("works best with structured schedules," "strong with toddlers, less practiced with school-age children").
• A clear positive closing statement if it is genuinely positive. If it is not genuinely positive, omit the closing rather than writing one that doesn't reflect what you actually think.
• Both parents' signatures.

A placement that ends with a thoughtful reference letter, on the last day, in the candidate's hand, is the placement that becomes a positive part of the family's local reputation.

Handing off from an outgoing nanny to a replacement is the bridge that most families plan least and that produces the highest-leverage outcome.

The structural choice — overlap or gap?

• Overlap (recommended for most placements): The incoming nanny starts 3–7 days before the outgoing nanny's last day. They overlap for that period; the outgoing trains the incoming on the daily routine, the children, the household quirks. Cost: you pay both salaries for the overlap days, typically ¥ 1,800–3,000 total.
• Gap (sometimes necessary): The outgoing nanny leaves before the incoming starts. The family covers the gap directly. Higher operational load but sometimes the only structural option (the outgoing's notice period and the incoming's availability don't overlap).
• Day-overlap (compromise): A single full day where both are present, with the outgoing walking the incoming through the daily routine. Better than nothing if a longer overlap isn't feasible.

We recommend the 3–5 day overlap for almost all placements. The transfer of operational knowledge is dramatically better in a working overlap than in a written handover document.

What the overlap should cover:

• The daily routine, end to end. Outgoing walks through morning, mid-day, afternoon, evening with incoming shadowing.
• The children's specific quirks — food preferences, sleep cues, comfort objects, fears, routines.
• The household systems — where things are kept, which appliance does what, the laundry rotation, the cleaning schedule, the grocery routine.
• The neighborhood — wet market locations, pharmacy, pediatrician, school, after-school activities.
• The family's communication channels and feedback culture.
• Anything that is specific to your household that an agency profile cannot convey.

The written handover document:

Even with the overlap, a written handover document helps. 2–4 pages, in Mandarin (and English for the family), covering: daily schedule, child profiles, household systems, neighborhood resources, family contacts, emergency procedures. The outgoing nanny contributes; the family signs off. The document lives in the incoming nanny's hands and on the family's shared drive.

The handover conversation with the children:

Covered in the next section.

For young children especially, the departure of a long-term nanny is a real loss. How the family frames it matters.

Talk to the child early, not at the last minute:

• For children under 3: introduce the incoming nanny once or twice before the outgoing nanny leaves, in low-stakes contexts. The child does not need a verbal explanation; she needs the gradual replacement of the familiar figure with the new familiar figure.
• For children 3–6: a simple verbal explanation a week before. "[Outgoing's name] is going home to her family. [Incoming's name] is going to be with us now." Do not over-explain the reason for the change; it confuses more than it helps.
• For children 6+: more nuanced conversation. Honest about the reason if the child asks, but framed positively where possible. "We've decided the role isn't quite right anymore; [outgoing] has been wonderful and we'll keep in touch with her."

The departure itself:

• The outgoing nanny says goodbye to the child on her last day, in a low-key way. A hug, a small parting gift to the child if she wishes, a clear "goodbye" rather than "see you soon" (which is misleading).
• Some families do a small farewell — a dinner, a card from the children, a small gift to the nanny. Optional but meaningful.
• The outgoing nanny does not return to the household after the last day. If there are unresolved questions, channel them through the family-to-family conversation rather than the child-to-nanny conversation.

The first weeks with the incoming nanny:

• Expect a regression period. The child may be irritable, clingy, resistant to the incoming nanny for 1–3 weeks. This is normal.
• The incoming nanny needs to be briefed that this is normal and not a reflection on her. The brief should come from both the family and the placing agency.
• Do not compare the incoming nanny to the outgoing in front of the child. "[Incoming] does it differently than [Outgoing] but she's just as kind."
• The first 30 days with the incoming nanny matter even more than usual. See the communication and culture page for the first-30-days framework.

Maintaining a connection (optional, sometimes useful):

• For long-term placements that end well, some families maintain a light WeChat connection with the former nanny. Occasional updates with photos of the children, a Spring Festival red envelope (a token amount), a card on her birthday.
• This is genuinely kind and sometimes useful — the former nanny becomes a backup contact, an emergency cover option, or a reference for the family in the local ayi community.
• It is not appropriate after a for-cause termination.

A short list of the things that turn an ordinary termination into a multi-month problem.

Legal pitfalls:

• Withholding documents to extract concessions. Never. The candidate's 身份证 and any other documents she has provided are returned within 3 working days of termination, no conditions attached. Holding documents is non-compliant and produces a civil claim almost automatically.
• Late final pay. Pay within 7 working days of the last working day. Late final pay is the single most common trigger for agency-mediated and civil-court claims.
• Shorting the Spring Festival red envelope. If termination is between January 1st and Spring Festival, the pro-rated red envelope is earned and owed. Skipping it is the cleanest way to ensure she tells every ayi in your neighborhood that you are a bad family to work for.
• Termination without written notice. Even with verbal notice well-delivered, follow up with a written letter within 48 hours. The letter is the document that the agency, the lawyer, or the court will look at if anything goes wrong.
• Inconsistent reasons stated. Whatever you say verbally, in writing, and to the agency must match. Inconsistent reasons are the trigger for a wrongful-termination claim.

Reputational pitfalls:

• Publicly criticizing the candidate. No WeChat group complaints, no public-channel comments, no negative remarks in expat-family forums. The local ayi community is networked; what you say will reach her former colleagues and the agency. Civil restraint here is in your own long-term interest.
• Refusing to provide any reference at all when one is reasonably owed. Withholding a reasonable reference is read as petty and reflects on the family more than on the candidate.
• Ghosting the agency after termination. If the placement was agency-mediated, the agency needs a debrief — what worked, what didn't, what they should know for the next placement. A clean debrief is the basis for the replacement guarantee and for the partnership continuing on future placements.

Operational pitfalls:

• Failing to update household systems. Change the apartment door code, the WiFi password, and any account access she had. Not as a sign of distrust but as routine hygiene.
• Failing to brief the children's school. If the outgoing nanny was the school pickup person, the school needs the new contact details and the new authorized-pickup roster before the transition.
• Failing to plan the replacement search. Most families wait until the outgoing nanny has left to start looking. By that point you are operating without coverage and under stress. Start the replacement search at the moment the notice conversation happens.

For any of the above where the situation feels off, request a consult before acting. A 20-minute conversation often surfaces a path that the family hadn't considered.