What to Ask in a Shanghai Nanny Interview — 30 Questions

A Shanghai nanny interview is structurally different from a Western one in three ways:

• Bilingual reality. Most candidates will be more fluent in Mandarin than English; the interview should probably be conducted in Mandarin (via a translator or your placement advisor) with 1–2 direct-English exchanges to confirm the language level the candidate claims.
• Cultural framing. Direct questions about salary expectations, prior employer conflicts, and personal life land differently. Better to ask scenario questions and infer the answer than to ask the direct version and get a face-saving non-answer.
• Cost of getting it wrong. Live-in placements in Shanghai involve someone literally living in your home for a year or more. The interview is doing more work than a typical Western job interview; it has to surface fit on routine, food, screen time, discipline, privacy, and a dozen other axes that don't come up in most Western hiring.

The 30 questions below cluster into 6 groups: experience and verification, scenario-based, language and bilingual, food and feeding, discipline and screen time, and household-fit. Use one or two from each cluster.

Cluster 1 — Experience and verification (6 questions)

• "Walk me through a typical day with your most recent family — wake-up to bedtime."
• "What ages were the children?"
• "How long were you with that family, and why did the role end?"
• "Can you give me the name and phone number of two prior employers I can call?"
• "What was your salary in that role, all-in?"
• "What did you find hardest about that placement?"

Cluster 2 — Scenario-based (6 questions)

• "It's 15:00. The 4-year-old refuses to eat lunch and is crying. What do you do?"
• "The 7-year-old falls and scrapes his knee. He's bleeding but not seriously. Walk me through the next 10 minutes."
• "The mother is on a work call. The baby wakes up early from a nap, fussy. What do you do?"
• "You're at the playground and an older child takes your child's toy. What happens next?"
• "You realize at 17:00 you've forgotten to pick up the dry-cleaning the family asked you to. How do you handle it?"
• "The child says something at dinner that contradicts what you told the parents earlier. What do you do?"

Cluster 3 — Language and bilingual (4 questions)

• "How comfortable are you reading a children's book aloud in English?" (Then test it with a book.)
• "If the parents want you to speak only Mandarin with the children, how would you handle moments when they ask you something in English?"
• "What's your accent — local Shanghainese, Mandarin-only, or somewhere in between?"
• "Have you taught any English-only-speaking children to understand Mandarin? How did that go?"

Cluster 4 — Food and feeding (4 questions)

• "What did you cook for the last family? Can you walk me through 3 dishes you make for children?"
• "What do you do when the parents and the grandparents disagree on what the child should eat?"
• "Are you comfortable with vegetarian / no-pork / Western-style menus?"
• "What's your view on snacks between meals?"

Cluster 5 — Discipline and screen time (5 questions)

• "What do you do when a child hits another child?"
• "What's your view on screen time for under-5s?"
• "How do you handle a child saying 'no' to something they need to do, like brushing teeth?"
• "Do you spank? Have you ever?" (Direct question, asked simply, watched closely.)
• "What did the last family's discipline style differ from yours? How did you adapt?"

Cluster 6 — Household fit (5 questions)

• "What's your living situation now? Where do you go on your rest day?"
• "How often do you use your phone during work hours, in your own honest estimate?"
• "What time do you usually go to bed?"
• "What are you reading or watching at the moment?" (Personality signal, not a test.)
• "What's a question you wish I'd asked?"

Five common mistakes:

• Asking only resume questions. "Where did you work last?" tells you what the recruiter could already tell you. Scenarios tell you behavior.
• Not testing the English level. Candidates and agencies will both round up. "Some English" usually means "5–10 survival words." If English fluency matters to the role, test it with a 2-minute children's book read-aloud.
• Skipping reference calls. Of every 10 placements that fail in month 2, 7 had a reference call that the family never made.
• Avoiding the hard questions. Spanking, phone time, salary, prior-family conflict — these feel awkward to ask but they're exactly where misalignment hides.
• Doing only one interview. A second interview, even just 30 minutes, dramatically improves selection. The first interview is performance; the second is closer to baseline behavior.

• Before: decide who's in the room (one parent, ideally; both can come across as performative). Pick 10–12 questions from the list above. Have one or two Mandarin phrases ready to use yourself, even badly — it changes the dynamic.
• First 5 minutes: introductions, water, sit-down. Let her settle.
• Next 20 minutes: experience cluster + 2 scenario questions. Let her talk; do not interrupt to clarify until she's done.
• Middle 10 minutes: language test (book read-aloud if relevant), food and discipline clusters.
• Final 10 minutes: household-fit cluster and her own questions for you.
• After: debrief with your partner or placement advisor within 2 hours while it's fresh. Score independently. Then talk.
• Always: end with "Do you have any questions for me?" Strong candidates have good questions. Weak candidates say "no."

Things that warrant a closer look:

• Vague answers to scenario questions. "I would handle it appropriately" is not an answer.
• Inability to name a prior employer. Confidentiality is reasonable; complete blankness is not.
• A salary expectation 40%+ above the neighborhood band without a clear credential or bilingual reason.
• Reluctance to do a trial day. Good candidates expect a trial.
• Phone vibrating constantly through the interview. A signal about her phone behavior on the job.