Most Shanghai placements that go wrong don't fail at day 2 — they fail at day 60–90 because of small drifts in the first 30 days that compounded. The pattern is consistent: the family briefed the nanny verbally on day 1, ran no structured check-ins, and only re-engaged when an issue had already become a friction point. This checklist is the alternative — a structured week-by-week framework that catches drift early, calibrates rules visibly, and gets the placement into steady state before the small frustrations accumulate. Free PDF download.
Why the first 90 days set the tone forever
The first 90 days of a placement is where every meaningful expectation is set — explicitly or accidentally. The rules that get written down and reviewed weekly become the norms; the rules that get briefed once and never revisited drift. By month four, the placement is operating on whatever combination of explicit-and-drifted rules emerged from those first 90 days. Re-establishing rules in month six is dramatically harder than establishing them in week two.
The checklist forces the work of those 90 days into a visible structure. None of the items is hard. The work is that they happen on schedule.
Week-by-week milestones
Week 1: household walkthrough, role expectations, schedule confirmed in writing, kitchen menu co-designed, screen-time and snack rules posted on kitchen cupboard, payment date and method confirmed.
Week 2: first structured Sunday 15-minute check-in. What's working, what's hard, what to align on. Mandarin alignment conversation script in the kit.
Weeks 3–4: weekly check-ins continue. Discipline-style alignment if needed. Children's preference patterns documented.
Week 6 (end of probation typical): structured probation review. 10-item scored check-list. Decision: convert to ongoing or end. Documented in writing.
Weeks 7–12: check-in cadence drops to fortnightly. Rules refined as children's developmental stages shift.
Week 13 (end of 90 days): full 30-minute review with the nanny. What's working, what to change for the next quarter. Adjustments to schedule, rules, or compensation discussed.
Daily / weekly / monthly check-in cadence
Three rhythms layer:
- Daily handoff (5 minutes): brief 'how was the day' conversation when the nanny finishes the daytime shift or when the family returns home. Operational only — what happened, anything notable. Not the place for feedback.
- Weekly Sunday check-in (15 minutes): scheduled, private, alignment-framed. The most important meeting in the placement. Drops to fortnightly after week 6.
- Monthly review (30 minutes): structured discussion of how the month went, what's drifting, what to lock in. Documented briefly in a one-pager that the family keeps.
When to escalate vs let it ride
Most drifts can be reset in a check-in conversation. A few warrant immediate escalation:
- Safety concerns (CPR readiness, fall risk, dietary compliance with allergens). Address immediately, not at the next Sunday.
- Physical correction or harsh tone with children. Non-negotiable; address the same day.
- Repeated specific drift after two written alignments. Escalation to the agency.
- Child fear or distress signals. Trust the child's signal.
Most issues are not these. Most are alignment gaps that close in 1–2 conversations.
Download
Form below. Name + email + relocation stage. The checklist PDF (shanghai-nanny-90-day-onboarding-checklist-2026.pdf) arrives via email within 2 minutes. 14 pages including printable weekly check-in sheets, the probation review scorecard, and the Mandarin alignment-conversation scripts.
GDPR + PIPL: data goes to mike@agileopsai.com only. Two emails — the checklist, then one follow-up. Unsubscribe with one click.
Common questions
Is 90 days really necessary?
Can I shorten it to 30?
Does this work for a yuesao?
What if my nanny doesn't speak English?
Is there a phone-friendly version?
In plain English:a week-by-week onboarding checklist for the first `90` days of a Shanghai nanny placement. Daily handoffs, Sunday check-ins, monthly reviews. The structure that catches drift before it compounds. Free PDF.
Want help running the calibration check-ins?
We sometimes facilitate the month-1 and month-3 check-ins for families who want a third-party present. Book a `20`-minute call to scope.